i am your father

I was just looking through my archives and I find it so odd that I didn’t write about Halloween last year. Not that anything explosive happened, only that it’s my very favorite holiday and always thrusts me somewhat happily into what would otherwise be a practice in avoidance of the melancholy holiday season. This year Nin and I dressed Winston up as Darth Vadar. He was flopping around the apartment in the costume we bought for him at Target: plastic black hat, two extra arms that hang down his sides, pockets for the light saber and even a long flowing black cape. He was sort of swirling around us and getting into the parade of it all, and then he just sat down and looked at me hard and then to the floor. It was as if he was saying to himself in a chastising disappointment, “I was wild once. I was a hunter. I was a beast. What the fuck has happened to me?” And then he looked at me again as if saying, “You. You’ve done this.” Anyway I gave him a piece of chocolate and he cheered right up.

the gesture life

in six hours,
my alarm, and
the sudden Fall
darkness of dawn.

the carved life